#LifeGoals or how to live the life of a Marie-Chantal
Marie-Chantal is a fictitious character invented by yours truly who has lived rent free in my brain for close to 10 years now.
She is to me the ideal human that I strive to emulate daily though I am fully aware that I will forever be a work in progress and that the Final Form of Marie-Chantal is an unachievable goal.
The thing is, Marie-Chantal has no claim to perfection, far from it. But being aware of her strengths and her flaws gives her the ability to be the best possible version of herself.
Marie Chantal is forever learning. She is knowledgeable and wise. She observes the world with curiosity, grace and delight. She’s comfortable with herself and kind by default. The passage of time doesn’t worry her, she embraces old age whilst staying relevant. To some, Marie-Chantal might be something of an original, an eccentric.
Whatever.
It has been my pleasure over the years, to witness real life versions of Marie Chantal. The last one to date was at the drugstore 2 months ago. She was queuing in front of me with a friend of hers, a little old lady of maybe 80. This Marie Chantal was probably nearing 70 herself. You could tell she’d spent some time getting ready in the morning to be just so but not in a vain way. Just in an effort to present well to the world. Her clothes looked comfortable but stylish. She looked assured and graceful but in a discreet way. But most importantly, she had a sparkle in her eye that spoke of intelligence, humor and kindness. In three sentences, she’d put the clerk at ease. She even put me at ease though I can excel at social awkwardness and she wasn’t even talking to me ! She neared the exit with her friend still clutching her arm, having gently piloted her through the shop and she left with a departing joke that had us all smiling. Honestly, I felt slightly bereft once she was gone. It felt like I’d been basking in the warmth of the aura of some celestial being and was suddenly thrown out in the cold – I exaggerate. Slightly.
Anyway, the whole interaction can’t have lasted more than 15 minutes, it was most likely a completely ordinary and uneventful day for the main character but it left me with an everlasting impression.
These types of encounters are few and far between but are, to me, everything. A glimpse of what humanity could be. The highest evolutionary stage.
In The Art of Grace, Sarah Kaufman explains what it is to be graceful. That it starts with physical grace but extends to social grace. She exposes individualism and spirit of competition has the hallmarks of our occidental capitalist societies, kindness and empathy having been denigrated as signs of weakness. I love the idea that in 2023 being kind is a form of rebellion against the status quo. It doesn’t mean being a pushover, on the contrary : being kind is being above the crass dominator/dominated logic. It’s about knowing who you are, being comfortable with yourself, being curious of others, being open. It’s about being graceful.
The combination of kindness and curiosity is in my mind the winning combo. If life was a game, this would be how to make it all the way to the finish line. Neurosciences tell us today that there is no such thing as programmed brain cell degeneracy. Our brain works as a muscle that you have to stretch and work out all your life. Learning new skills and forging new neuronal paths is key, as is staying curious of everything and everyone. The moment you become complacent, prejudiced and stop challenging yourself is the moment you lose.
For Sarah Kaufman, the epitome of grace was Cary Grant (an actor from the Hollywood Golden Age). Having never had the pleasure of meeting him (and only being able to rely on old black and white movies to forge my own opinion), I have to admit to not being entirely convinced. Especially since, in my experience, the superior graceful beings in question have always been women.
Marie-Chantal makes way more sense.
She also has the advantage of being fictional so she’ll never disappoint !
Notes to self :
- still have a long way to go when it comes to physical grace but if we’re talking about forging new neuronal pathways AND a lifetime of practice, who knows !
- Social graces will then follow… ? I guess. Can’t wait.
- Am actively on the lookout for instances of Grace. Karen Blixen and her tulip arrangements come to mind but the subject needs thorough studying methinks.
- I’ve tried the capsule wardrobe to no avail : the Marie-Chantal look eludes me to this day.
- WORK IN PROGRESS
ADDENDUM : I am very aware that I wouldn’t be worrying about social graces if I was struggling to meet my basic needs. This outlook is of course afforded me by a life of privilege. Wouldn’t want right wing conservatives to think of me as a pal… 😉
