International Mother Language Day
Both my parents are anglophone.
English is my mother tongue. Being born in Paris and living all my life in France means my French is better than my English but also that moving out from the family house meant not getting to speak English at all on a daily basis.
That was when I started reading a lot in English and became inflexible when it came to watching films/series in the original language. I think unconsciously I was trying by all means necessary to stop my mother tongue from slipping away.
But it did slip away to some point with one big exception : babies and animals. I can not for the life of me coo in French. I sometimes force myself when holding one of my friends babies and I can feel my brain retracting from the cringe of it.
Having a child has made me reconnect with that side of me, reactivating speech neural paths daily that I’d set aside for a really long time. And I wonder how much a language can influence the experience of motherhood and of self all together.
Because English is my love language. I didn’t grow up hearing « je t’aime » ( « Je te aime » as Le Baby told me once) or « ma chérie » and it would fell like such a travesty to start saying those things myself to my daughter.
I’ve only realized very recently that while bringing up my daughter to speak English was a given (if only because of the whole animals and babies thing) I’m pretty sure getting to speak my mother tongue daily once again has had a very soothing and enriching effect on myself.
Like being nurtured and loved in one language has transformed that whole language into a kind of mental cuddly blanket that I could then wrap myself in in motherhood to nurture and love my own baby.
It’s probably another way I’ve felt the transgenerationnal heritage that I’ve mentioned previously. I suspect very strongly that becoming a mother has allowed to reconnect a lot of things that I didn’t even realize were disconnected.
So there’s what I feel and believe to be true and then there’s science and research and because I like to understand and prove I went ahead and gave J. a call. J is a friend of mine who happens to work in the language department of Le Mans University (I’m very lucky in friendship !) And she immediately sent over material to start me off on my quest for answers.
And this is the question I’ve been reflecting on : is there a link between my bilingualism, my creativity and how I experience motherhood ?
These are my findings so far :
- « Bilinguals may perceive a first language to be emotionally evocative because words and phrases in the first language are linked to emotionally relevant personal memories. » I think language allows me to revisit my childhood experience through my own mother-daughter relationship in a emotionally heightened way.
- « A person’s mother tongue is often deeply intertwined with their cultural identity and heritage. It reflects the traditions, values, customs and history of a particular community and region. Preserving and using one’s mother tongue helps individuals maintain a strong sense of self and connection to their roots. » Cf transgenerational heritage
- The upheaval of motherhood and the identity crisis that came with it had me turning to flow state and creativity as a means to reinvent myself making the act of creation a much bigger part of me than it used to be. So in that sense motherhood has stimulated me. Also, having much less brain space available on a daily basis makes outlets a necessity. I often feel nowadays that my thoughts and interests are untethered and shapeless. They just swirl around aimlessly in my mind and I get the need to express them and they don’t really exist until I do.
- « As a baby, you’re jamming with language. Not made to sit in a corner and practice; not corrected when you’re wrong. Even to the point your parents learn the new way of speaking. You remain free in how you talk. ». And the same goes for how toddlers use objects. The French have invented the word « affordance » (from the verb to afford) to best describe small children’s attitude to things : they don’t see « a chair » for example, they see pieces of wood assembled to make a structure and they ask themselves « what can I do with it ? ». Siting on it being only one amongst many possible answers. It is a true privilege to experience life through a toddlers eyes and to bear witness to they everyday inventivity and creativity. I do hope it rubs off on me ! I suspect the simple exercise of trying to keep up is a step in the right direction.
- I’ve read psychology papers that link bilingualism with creativity by means of cognitive processes. The capacity to switch seamlessly from one language to another would promote cognitive flexibility and cognitive inhibition. And it turns out cognitive control (or inhibition aka being able to regulate emotional and behavioral responses) is key when it comes to non violent parenting and raising emotionally stable children. Now I can attest to having a child who is not prone to emotional breakdowns or « tantrums » so I may have my bilingualism to thank for that as well as the fact I have a extra lovely daughter.
I think it’s safe to say it’s all connected one way or another…
Undergoing this « research » I’ve discovered that International Mother Language Day was…yesterday ! So, although the 21st of February is dedicated to the 45% of the estimated 7000 languages spoken in the world that are endangered (my mother language is the one disappearing all the others…), I do feel I want to say : Happy International Mother Language Day !
NB Am fully aware I’ve only scratched the surface of the subject so I don’t feel the need to site sources but they are available if necessary ^^
Didn’t know quite how to capture « my bilingualism, my creativity and how I experience motherhood » via illustration so went ahead and painted a chair. Do with it what you want.
