Journal of a rando – November 2024
Monday 4th – Picked up E. from school. Don’t ever get much out of her when it comes to what goes on in there. But have figured out fellow school mate M. is switching schools at the end of the week. E. doesn’t seem torn up about it but the topic does seem to come up regularly.
Signed up for a baking session at the school with the children. Forgot the kitchen was being delivered this morning (in exchange for a big fat cheque) requiring my presence at home. Had to cancel and pretend to be a VBP (Very Busy Person) for the sake of the plumber who is also making an appearance. He’s here, amongst other things, to fix radiators that have been put in upside down by colleague. Why I feel the need to impress these people is beyond me.
Wednesday 6th – Crossed the neighbor on the way out. They’ve dug up the trees in their garden leaving it completely bare. Got to talking about replacements. Mentioned the fig trees in our garden which I hate. Of the three we had initially, only one will remain but in the coming weeks we’ll be digging up the last one we’re getting rid of. Neighbor reiterated jealousy of said tree. She’d already mentioned this at the end of summer. She expressed interest in recuperating the stump to have the tree in her own garden. Was more than happy to oblige though did mention I find the variety loathsome myself. She persisted so agreed to keep her posted. Might avoid ourselves a trip to the rubbish tip.
Friday 8th – E. was out of school sick today but we ended up going in anyway at the end of the day to pick something up. Decided in a spur of the moment impulse very at odds with my introvert personality to go up to M’s mum (whom I’ve never spoken to before) to wish them farewell and give E. a chance to say goodbye. M’s mum looked at me with the blankest of expressions on her face. No move on the horizon for M. and family. Turns out I might have been voicing E’s wishful thinking. E. herself stands completely silent by my side during whole exchange. Have never felt more awkward and alone IN MY LIFE.
Note to self : must not trust a single word out of E’s mouth lest I should find myself in more cringe worthy situations.
Tuesday 19th – School outing at medieval castle after which challenged the kids to a memory game : try and remember the instruments played by the minstrels at the time. Laugh like a mad person when O. suggested saxophone as a plausible option and instantly regretted my reaction. Stern expressions on parents faces reminding me mocking children is unacceptable behavior.
Confession : the saxophone playing minstrel will probably forever live rent free in my mind.
Saturday 23th – Town event today. Kids running wild everywhere. The weather is glorious. When E. rushes towards me, grab her in a big mama bear hug enjoying the moment. Happy bubble is savagely burst when she suddenly yells at the top of her lungs « Why is that lady so small ?!? » whilst pointing at a woman with dwarfism. Apparently toddlers experiencing combination of incredulity and mirth results in shrieks of laughter akin to hyena’s. Arresting stares from many bystanders. Have to exit the premises with E. tucked under my arm, still screaming on a loop « Mama did you see ?!? She’s so small !!! ». Highest mortification level unlocked. The parenting game feels suddenly overrated.
Sunday 24th – Finally got around to digging up the fig tree. The tree we are keeping is shedding its god-awful massive yellowing leaves and most of the figs have gone moldy on the branches. The breeze shakes one free from time to time and the white furry ball of mold will land on the ground with a splat. Feel nothing but intense disdain. Am starting to question sanity at feeling such strong hatred for a plant species…
Got home laughing this evening. Crossed a group of men in the street. E pointed her little finger at the one wearing a bandana around his head and asked loudly if he was a pirate. Perplexed look from the said pirate. Uncontrollable giggles escape my mouth all the way home.
Monday 25th – Sent a text to the neighbor saying the stump was available and that she could come over whenever. She came by with a bag, fully ready to commit to her adoption plan. Started of on another rant. Slipped into full logorrhea mode, voice dripping with contempt going on and on about sprawling root system, irritating sap, thick prickly leaves, overrated tasteless fruit. Overplayed my hand. The backdrop to my monologue is not a lush green end of summer garden but a squelchy cemetery for yellow fig leaves the size of ogre hands. Felt the neighbor’s hesitation but couldn’t stop myself, hatred is too intense. Heavy silence settled when finally came up of air. Right on cue, moldy fig bombed at our feet, sealing the stumps fate. Neighbor left rather hurriedly without it. Fig trees around the world probably giving me the stink eye. Stump is doomed and so are we. Trip to the dump for the stump now unavoidable.
Tuesday 26th – Work on the house has come along sufficiently to warrant a trip to a home decor shop. Overhear a couple trying to pick out a blanket. Asian man picks out a bright yellow one. His boyfriend, without missing a beat, « that’s a good color for you ! ». My sense of humor probably needs to be brought in for questioning by the politically correct police. Lingering smile wiped quickly off my face when I get home and realize the clicking noise that followed me around all afternoon was in fact my undone belt dangling down the front of my trousers. Replaying the last few hours of my life and thinking retroactive shame has to be the worst…
A lot of big orders have been made now. Fridge and sofa are on their way. Have accepted everything will start coming together in January rather than December as I initially hoped. Can’t wait !